Whew, its been a while!

I almost forgot about this thing! I need to just take more time to stop and smell the roses... and blog!
Anyway...
Many many moons ago, when my Grams was diagnosed with Type 2 Diabetes, she was put on a specific diet using food exchanges. I went on this diet with her and I lost quite a bit of weight. It worked, I ate healthy and in return I became healthier. I felt good!

I need to do this again. Lately I have come to accept myself as a big girl. I am starting to get to the point where I honestly dont care what other people think, and dammit I am beautiful! But, alas, I still want to loose the weight. But I dont want to do it for looks. I dont want to do it for other people that have to look at me. I want to do it to be healthy. As of right now I dont like how I feel. I feel unhealthy. No.... really, most days, I just flat out feel like crap. So I think now is the time that I have to just force myself to bring forth the will power to stop eating junk and eat better.

Tonight I went online and I calculated what my ideal weight should be for my height and weight. My goal is to get myself down to 150lbs. That's 125 lbs (*gasp!*) that I need to loose. I dont plan to try and loose it in a matter of just months, like I did ages ago when I did this with Grams. I want to do it slow and healthy. So, based on my goal and other factors, I am going to go on 1,800 calories a day. I printed up a daily breakdown of the exchanges I can eat for each meal. I also printed up the exchange list. So as of Friday... A.K.A. payday.... I am going to go shopping and get the proper food for this diet... no, not diet! This new way of life! I am going to do this dammit, and I am going to live healthy!

Back to the real world!

Yesterday I started back to work. After 3 weeks off, I went in feeling nice and refreshed and ready to tackle the day. By then end of the day, the feeling was starting to wind down, but I think its still there. I am tired though. I guess sitting on my butt for 3 weeks will do that. And I am sure by the end of the week, that refreshment will be gone, lol. Anyway, off to tackle another day... here I go!

Strange Fear

Ok so here's the deal. I have this strange phobia of large bodies of water at night. It's not hydrophobia. That's just a fear of water. I don't fear water, I just have a fear of lots of water only at night. It's so odd. And I dont really think its the water itself so much. I think its the fact that its so dark, and not knowing what is under it that I fear. There is no way I could get myself in a lake at night time. Nope. Wouldnt do it. But its gotten to the point over the years that even just being near a large body of water at night time makes me uncomfortable. When I was still up in MI, there was this lake that I would have to drive over when I was working as a lab courier. I swear on my life, going over that bridge at night time FREAKED me out! I couldnt look at the water. Driving past a lake at night time... FREAKY. Now, normally a swimming pool at night is cool. In fact I prefer to swim in a pool at night, its so relaxing and quiet. But tonight I went down to the pool... and I was fine until I saw some debris floating in the water. (It stormed earlier tonight, lots of wind.) And since it was dark and I couldnt totally see what it was, it freaked me out so bad that I had to get out of the damn pool! Of course, it didnt help that they didnt have the underwater lights on either, so the water was pretty dark. I dont know... its such an odd phobia for me to figure out. I'm just weird.

Not much going on, I'm still in quarantine.  Just about all of my pox are scabbed over.  My face is starting to look better, the scabs are coming off, so just a lot of red dots now.  I hope by the end of next week they are mostly gone.  Tomorow it will have been a full week since I have left the house other then to take Hannah out to the backyard.  Never thought I would say it, but I will actually be glad to go back to work.  I'm sure that will change soon as I walk into work, lol. 
Mom is getting her new floors laid, they did the porch today and it looks good!  Will look good when its all said and done.

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Horiscope

A silly little horoscope from Facebook:
"A field that you've had a passion for recently could be easier to break into than you think."
Hmmm... well lately I have been thinking about how I would like to get into a career in Wildlife Conservation. Is this the 'field that I've had a passion for recently'?

Most of my chicken pox are starting to scab over. I still have some 'bubbles' though. Apparently, those are the buggers that are infectious. I wish they would hurry up and scab over so I can get this put behind me! I really want my face to clear up... even if I wasn't contagious, I dont think I could go out in public. I look so ridiculous. And can I say being in quarantine is BORING? It's B..O..R..I..N..G!

Crack-Head Clown, checking in...

I've dubbed myself Crack Head Clown, lol. With all the calamine lotion on my face, that is really what I look like. I'm back at home, at least for a few more minutes. Decided with as long as I am going to be at mom's, I should come and get my Sky kitty. I was missing her! She has already cussed me out of course, but she missed me too :) Oh, and of have waited until after dark to venture out of quarantine... I think I will be feeling like a vampire before this whole ordeal is said and done :O Oooh, hey a little more calamine on my body and I will be just as white as one!